Baaaaah!

What is the new Sheep Life Enhancement plan ( SHLEP?)

In recent years many of our young sheep have become concerned about their personal security. There have been concerns that many shepherds are no longer acting for the long term benefit of their flocks. Due to misguided vegetarianism in recent years there have been a lack of growth and new opportunities for sheep in the valley. Overgrazing is leading to a shortage of pasture. It is time for a change.

Too many of our young sheep have been denied opportunities to increase their individual worth and to improve their marketability. They have been caught in the cycle of grass-chewing dependency that has destroyed their initiative. A whole generation of sheep has grown up accustomed to a life of aimlessly following shepherds from pasture to pasture, while being exploited for the few bags of wool they produce and for which they receive little benefit. There is a shortage of pasture because some sheep have been eating too much grass.

The New Union of Terrific Sheep (NUTS) was elected on a platform of change. We believe that a dignified, purposeful and productive existence is the birth right of every sheep. We are deeply concerned for the best interests of our sheep constituents.

We have developed a consultative process with all the sheep herds within your area. Our representatives have listened carefully to the concerns of ordinary sheep like you. Out of this, we have developed the Sheep Life Enhancement Program, ( SHLEP.) This will give every sheep the freedom to be able…